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Buddy in 2007. He came into our life Feb 15, 2003 - he passed on March 3, 2011

Rich and I are still in shock over Buddy’s death.  It’s partially the result of a misdiagnosis.  We took him to the vet because my friend’s dog has a heart problem, and Buddy seemed to have similar symptoms.  Although I believed it was his heart, Buddy’s vet thought he had asthma.  She took an xray, but said it was borderline.  I didn’t think asthma because we have a very good air filter in our house, and he’s an indoor dog.  She didn’t believe it was a heart problem, but sent the xrays out for further evaluation.  Thus, this past Saturday she started him on a round steroids and on Sunday she called to increase his thyroid medication when his blood work indicated it was low.  I asked if also increasing the thyroid was a good idea since he was on steroids, and she said it was. She was to call the following day if there was any problem with his report.  Monday came and no call, so I thought all was fine.  However, on Tuesday, I wondered if all way okay because he was very tired and was sometimes coughing. Tuesday night he became very sick, and we learned  he went into cardiac distress. She didn’t realize his x-ray report came back that Monday indicating heart disease (it was a very busy day and she was off Tuesday), and had she seen it sooner she would have immediately called and told us to stop the medication.  However, at that point (Wed a.m.) we had Buddy at her door as he was ill for hours and hours during the night.  She was sincere, professional, but clearly upset and very apologetic.  She told us she’d do everything she could to try and save him.  And she did try.  She had him all day, monitored him continually, and at one point thought he was getting stronger.  Then he took a turn for the worse.  She recommended an emergency facility because her place didn’t provide 24 hour care.  In retrospect I wish we took him home to die in our home, but we didn’t.  I hated seeing the tube stapled on his nose.  We took Buddy to the emergency facility, and that vet said it was 50/50.  The goal was new medication, more oxygen, and see if he improves.

At 5 a.m. we heard from our original vet who had been in touch with the new place.  There was no change in Buddy’s condition, despite the new medications, increased oxygen, and so on.  His chances were now less than 50% and dropping.  She wanted to wait for the cardiac surgeon to weigh in a few hours later.  However, we told her if Buddy had any further negative change, we didn’t want any more tests, nor did we want him to die alone on a metal table.  She was to call us.  Around 8, she did.  He was worse, and we rushed over to be with him.

We got to the place extremely fast, and luckily no cops were around to give us a speeding ticket.  We did not want him to die on a table and asked if they could put him to permanent sleep outside.  They kindly complied.  The  vets carried  a stretcher with him sitting on top like a king, and put it and him onto the grass in the sun.  There was a gentle breeze and he was covered in sunshine.   He seemed to know we were there, and despite his heavy panting seemed glad we were with him.  Rich and I hugged and kissed him into heaven. As he went, his heavy breathing calmed, his eyes gently shut, and he passed.  It is more heart-wrenching than I can say, and I feel almost unable to function (although I clearly can write about him).

We spoke again with our vet.  I credit her with being honest and sincerely apologetic.  She said she was sick that she missed the report and was so, so sorry.  I told her the other place said this type of thing happens quickly and sometimes there is nothing to be done.  But she said the medication accelerated it, and for that she was truly sorry and that she tried everything she could to save him.  I find myself wishing I listened to my instincts and waited for the report.  But I  thought I was doing the right thing.  But I did hear the voice in my head saying to wait, reminding me that when I was on steroids I was jumping off the walls for the first few days, and what if he did have a heart problem.   I blame myself for not trusting my instincts, but it is now too late.  Now I am trying to override the mental voices of why didn’t I do this or that and remind myself the he was well-loved and cared for, and he gave us love in return. Even so, I am gutted.

Rather than working today, I spent many hours going through pictures of him.  There are so many.  I’m now finished with years 2003 and 2004!  There are many more years to go.  In past blog posts, I have pictures of Buddy.  Here‘s Buddy’s big smile.  Here‘s Buddy in the snow. Here‘s Buds with a laptop.  Here‘s Buds on the cover of one of our holiday cards. Here‘s Buds lounging with a quilt. You’ll find Buddy sunning himself on the deck in this post. And Buddy coming into the basement while I’m painting.

Buddy and me in 2003, after we fell in love! He was still thin but finally starting to put on weight. He was some 40 lbs underweight when Rich got him.

Me, Rich, and Buds late 2004.

Buddy sleeping under my desk some weeks ago. Yes, sometimes navigating my chair was hard!

It comforts Rich and me to see him so happy throughout the years.  I know we gave him a good 8+ years.  Rich got him from a shelter, as he was a week from being put down because no one wanted him.  He was between 4-7 when we got him, and he was terribly underweight.  I didn’t initially want him because our first dog was put to sleep only a month plus earlier.  That was a very difficult time.  Our home was broken into, and he was apparently hit in the back of the head which caused paralysis.  I thought Rich getting Buddy was an insult to our first dog’s memory. Then I fell totally in love with him, as Rich did when he found him.  Buddy had a beautiful, loving disposition, a gentle giant.  Since I work from home, he was with me all of the time, generally sleeping on my feet, or under my desk, or close by.  He licks his lips when he wants a treat, gives me a single bark when he wants to go outside, and puts his head in my lap when he wants a massage.  He practically brings Rich his lease when he wants a walk.  I realize it’s now past tense.

Buddy also taught me that there is plenty of love to go around.  While we are shattered over the loss of Buddy, in his honor we will eventually look for  another older dog in need of a good and loving home.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 3rd, 2011 at 8:05 pm and is filed under Misc. Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.